Truth Parlor

Are you a Career Woman or Super Mom?

Can you be a career woman and a super mom? When I hack away at my computer, I have this un-human urge to keep moving forward. Don’t stop. Don’t let anything stand in the way of progress. Learn, learn, learn. Earn, earn, earn.

The career monster I turn into while I’m in what my husband calls ‘the zone’ dares anyone to interrupt my flow and concentration. I get irritable and unfocused in conversation, so don’t even waste your time trying to talk to me-not if you want to keep that head on attached to your neck. Not even about dinner or baths or homework. Um – especially about dinner, baths and homework.

Am I a bad mother?

During times like this I have, in the past 5 years, questioned my commitment as a mother. This usually happens when I’m run down and exhausted and missing my family. But really, who the hell snaps at their husband when he’s asking about feeding the kids?

But what happens is that I often forget that I actually live by what I coach others to do: be what you’re being while you’re being it. So I have to pull my head out of my ass and stop the pity party. I finish what I’m doing and remember to reconnect with my children even if it’s not on my schedule. Then something miraculous happens. I am super-mom.

Though I am completely fulfilled when I am in the zone, I contribute most to this world when I am my children’s mommy. So today, I took a mid-day break and cooked for my children. (This is actually dinner time since I work till the sun comes up!)

I’m going to let you in on a secret even my mother doesn’t know: I cook. I mean, I really cook. I’m no gourmet chef, but I guarantee you will have 2nds and 3rds if you sit down for one of my meals. Mommy dearest however, still tells everyone who will listen that I can’t cook a thing but when she goes to my sister’s house she doesn’t have to lift a finger. She must think that my family eats Ramen noodles between her monthly visits.  If only she knew, she might stop cooking for us when she comes over…so if you tell her, I will hunt your ass down and beat you to a pulp.

One of my favorite things to do in life is to feed people. I get that from mom along with a number of other neurotic behaviors we’ll discuss some other time.  Whether I’m taking you out for a meal or cooking from scratch, it totally strokes my ego to see you take a bite of something you’ve never had and watch your eyes slowly close and hear you moan from sheer pleasure.

Though my boys don’t have such grown up reactions, I derive great pleasure from watching them eat food that I prepare. Foods that I have slaved over and know each and every ingredient is approved by me. Foods that have my 3 yr old asking for “more broccoli please” & have him singing, “There’s a party in my tummy. So yummy, so yummy!” over and over again. Foods that they devour and are smeared all over their fingers and faces. These are the times when I know I am a kick ass super-mommy.

So I am going to start sharing more regularly my recipes that are staples in my home. Comfort foods that you will not find in the cookbooks at Barnes & Nobles because they are recipes from my own mother that I’ve simplified for my complicated world.

Most of my recipes are Chinese meals but there are very American & Mexican meals that we have perfected in this house because my husband wishes he married a Mexican woman. Big J-oda could eat Mexican food every day of the week, but Asian food for every meal just won’t work. I on the other hand, grew up with Asian food for every meal and didn’t order my first pizza until I was a freshman in high school (a very traumatic experience), so I would welcome Pho for breakfast, black pepper chicken and rice for lunch and Sushi for dinner. Seriously.

Today has been one of those days where I was getting restless on the computer anyways because of the downpour. Days like today are made for an ice cold glass of Moscato Di Asti and a deliciously raunchy book with the windows open. It’s been raining so hard that the creek in our backyard which is normally dry or only a few inches deep was overflowing! This has only happened once since we’ve moved in & it’s an awesome sight.

Nicholas also pointed out this gigantic white bird that was almost as tall as he is. You can see him in the far left of the video! If our food wasn’t already sizzling and half cooked, I would’ve taken them both out to run around in the rain. It was so glorious and I always feel so much closer to whatever divine creator is out there looking out for us when the earth opens up like that.

In my culture, rain is very symbolic. I threw a surprise 40th birthday party for Big J-oda a couple of years ago (the only other time I’ve seen our creek flood). I was really freaked out because not only was it cold, but it was raining so hard I was afraid our family and friends wouldn’t make it. I was wrong and our house was so full it was standing room only, but this was when I learned that rain is good luck in Chinese culture. It means that the heavens are opening up and pouring down blessings upon you. I’ve always loved rain, but now when I hear the rain and can smell it’s freshness, I feel more…connected.

The Recipe

Ok, let’s get to the food part. First thing you need to know about cooking with me is that there are a few ingredients that are staples in our kitchen. Oyster sauce and fish sauce are what I use to season almost every type of stir fry. Soy sauce, Sriracha chili sauce and lime are what I use as a dipping sauce for many of our dishes (thanks to dad, without this dipping sauce, many dishes are pretty good, but not super fantastic!). I’ll roll out the different dipping sauces for each meal because I’m the kinda girl that has to have A-1 Steaksauce with every steak – no matter if it’s a $12 steak or a $75 steak.

What’s weird is that fish sauce & oyster sauce is used in tons of dishes, but they all taste different.

Tonight, I made chicken & broccoli, fried tilapia and rice.

Easy Chicken & Broccoli Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 pieces of chicken breast cut into bite size pieces
• 1 large crown of broccoli cut into bite size pieces (I use 2 crowns because I eat more broccoli than chicken. NOTE: I also cut up the stalk because it’s crunchy and sweet – my favorite part of broccoli)
• 3 cloves of garlic chopped
• olive oil (about 1-2 tbsp or what you prefer to use)
• oyster sauce (about 4 tbsp, but season to taste)
• fish sauce (about 2 tsp, but season to taste)
• 1/2 cup water

Directions

• Turn your burner up HIGH
• Pour some olive oil in a frying pan
• When hot, add the chopped garlic
• When the garlic is lightly browned, add the chicken and 1/2 of the oyster sauce. NOTE: I don’t measure out the oyster sauce usually, I just eyeball about 2 tbsps
• Add 1/2 of the fish sauce (again, I don’t usually measure, just a few shakes of the bottle)
• Stir and cover on medium high for about 3 minutes
• Add the broccoli and the rest of the oyster sauce,  fish sauce, and 1/2 cup of water
• Stir and cover for 5-6 minutes
• If your chicken isn’t fully cooked, uncover and continue to simmer until your chicken is fully cooked
• Serve hot!

Fried Fish: Tilapia

Ingredients

• 6 pieces of fish (or as you need to feed your family. I usually one for 6 for the 4 of us): Tilapia, catfish or whatever white fish you prefer
• 3 cloves of garlic chopped
• cajun seasoning (we use Tony Cachere)
• black pepper
• onion powder
• olive oil

Directions

• Heat up your frying pan on high heat
• Add the olive oil and wait until hot
• Add garlic
• I lay out my fish on a plate so I can season one side of the fish. When the pan is hot, I place the fish seasoned side down. NOTE: season to taste. I usually have my fish covered with seasoning
• Season the other side and wait for the first side to cook – about 3-4 minutes.
• Turn over and cook the other side for about 3-4 minutes.
• Serve hot

Rice

Ok guys, I hate to break this to you, but the rice you get at the American grocery stores are not anywhere nearly as flavorful as the Jasmine rice you get from the Asian markets. You get 25lbs in a bag which lasts us a few months, but we eat a lot of rice. It may last you even 6 months to a year if you only eat it once a week.

Here’s the 2nd part, for yummy, evenly cooked rice, you need a kick ass rice cooker. Here’s the one we have. We would be lost without it. If you don’t get this model, whatever you do, don’t waste your money on a model that’s under $50. I haven’t found one yet that was any good under $50. If you don’t want to invest in one yet, just email me & I’ll give you instructions on how to cook rice without a rice cooker. It would just take this already long post over the edge.

Spicy Sauce

For tonights dinner, we used dad’s famous spicy soy sauce mix:

• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tsp Sriracha chili sauce
• 1/2 lime (squeezed)
• Mix in sauce bowl

This is so popular in our house that we now each have our own sauce bowls rather than sharing family style as I did growing up.

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All of this took me 20 minutes. Seriously. But this is because I’ve made these dishes a thousand times and have got my timing down from experience. I also cook both dishes simultaneously (chicken & broccoli first) and then the fish and I always use the highest heat appropriate for the dishes so I don’t delay our dinner. Oh, and don’t forget to start your rice before you do anything else because that takes 20 minutes to fully cook.

I hope you enjoy this dinner as much as we do. We have a variation of this meal once a week. Often, I’ll substitute the broccoli for another veggie like celery and onions or chinese broccoli or even ginger root. I’ll give updates and pictures of those dishes as I make them next.

The Truth

You can be both a hard ass career woman and kick ass super mom. I just can’t wear both hats at the same time. I’m better at both these things when I choose to be only one at a time. In the same day, I have covered both bases and we are all the more happy and fulfilled because I did’t try to ‘muti-task’ today.

This subject about being a career woman vs. a super mom is far from over. We’ll talk soon about your need to operate on 3 hours of sleep and self sacrifice. It’s absurd & unnecessary except in extreme circumstances. If you want to be a good mom, take care of your children’s mother.

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