If you can't figure out which one's my grandma, then this may be the wrong blog for you.

My favorite Auntie & her beautiful family tops this list:

Grandma, Aunt Lisa & her oldest daughter Rosalinda.

But from the time I was little (we’ve had our family reunion/grandma’s milestone birthdays since I was little), I remember one of my favorite things about Canada is that their potato chip selection is vastly different than ours. For God’s sake, the make ketchup chips.

Ketchup chips are even better than salt & vinegar & dill pickle chips, though I love them both, they don’t come close to the delectable tangy sensation of each crunchy bite.

Best dang chips this side of the great lakes.

So while we’re talking about food, here’s a shot of how we Chinese folks like to eat: 12 course meals or no food at all. If you speak Chinese, you can hear my dad in the background saying, “She just keeps eating (referring to me).” But duh, who wouldn’t keep eating that scrumptious food?:

Yes, we really eat like this all the time. Especially when we get together after a long time apart. We only had 8 courses the night before though, so it wasn’t video worthy. Though we apparently got a tongue lashing from the horrible waiter because he was left just under a 10% tip…but when I say he was awful, I mean, he never cracked a smile, was not gracious. We had to set down our own plates and dishes. He never asked if we needed anything, we always had to flag him down, etc.

Anyhow, that was like the worst part of the trip and was over so quickly and was awesome from then on.

So we caused quite a ruckus, as we always do with these big family trips.

So follow the math here:

There are 6 of us and only 5 can fit in my dad’s car for the road trip up. Sooo, I fly up while Dad, hubby, 2 kids + my nephew drive up. This means:

1. Friday:  Pick me up from the airport
2. Saturday:  Pick up my sister from the airport
3. Sunday: Drive my hubby to the airport
4. Tuesday: Drive my sister to the airport
5. Thursday: Drive my uncle to the airport
6. Saturday: Drive my aunt & cousins to the airport

6/8 days were spent shuttling to the airport and back as well as seeing lots of family & Niagara falls (I’ll post a vid after all have been rendered and uploaded to YouTube).

But all in all, it was so good for my heart & soul. Each time I see my tiny little grandmother I remember it may be my last and hold on to her as much as I can. This feisty old woman is worth every straight 24 hour drive we take up there.

So here’s to Canada: you hold the keys to my heart…my family & ketchup chips.

Let’s face it, no matter how great my wonderful boys are and as supportive as my husband is with almost everything I do, it was still nice to have someone who actually wanted to watch my favorite girly shows and could stomach a conversation about anti-aging methods and boob lifts.

So here’s to you my dear friend.

Congratulations on your beautiful home…and no matter what your Realtor says, your new stained concrete floors are super fab!

I’ll miss our Smoothie Sundays and thanks for kicking my butt into (yoga) gear. I’m now no longer a hater of Jamba Juice, and will remember you every time we juice up some carrots around here.

Thanks for not hurting yourself on the mess of toys (those damn legos will cut as hard as razorblades) since I would’ve hated for our homeowner’s insurance to rise because a bodily injury claim. Thanks for doing dishes after you’ve worked all day when you didn’t even dirty one up.  Thanks for staying up past midnight many nights when trying to help salvage one of our businesses after it was beaten to hell by our buyers.

Thanks for joining Facebook with me so I could have at least one friend.

Thanks for telling me about all the fun places Dallas has to offer up. You’ve experienced more places in 9 months than I have in 28 years here. WTF – I gotta get out more. I bow down to you and Gladys (her GPS).

Thanks for laughing (and not fleeing) when Justin would run a full circle around the house naked before each and every bath. Oh, and of course for acting like you’ve never seen anything like that even the 200th time.

Thanks for walking Donut. He loves you the most.

And many thanks for just listening to me rant. A lot. Actually, let’s say the internet thanks you for listening to me rant so they don’t have to (much). Jason thanks you for talking to me…it’s saved him many hours of engaging and intense conversations;-) But I’m wondering, who’s gonna greet him when he comes home now? He’s going to miss seeing a woman doing laundry in his home…

We’ll keep your room in the exact condition you left it, in case you are on this side of town and feel like a slumber party. We won’t even wash your sheets. I’ll even put the police tape up so no one even crosses into your room.

We’ll miss you…but enjoy that home and all your good looking, single, tool-toting guy neighbors!

New Passport Law

You’ve probably heard about the recent changes to the passport law.To cross the border by land, you now have to have at least a passport ‘card.’ If you are traveling by air, you MUST have a passport ‘book.’

Family Reunion

Well, we’ve been planning this trip to see my only living grandparent, my dad’s mom, for over 6 months now for her 90 birthday party and a family reunion that happens like once a decade. We’re coasting along and all of a sudden we’re caught up in a rush to get passport cards for our kids.

So what’s the big deal? Well try this:

1. They just changed this law just a few weeks ago.
2. Dad didn’t get his VC approval until Tuesday of this week (that would’ve nixed our trip if he couldn’t go).
3. My sister & I rush online to fill out paperwork online. This part was awesome.
4. I fill out the passport card info since it’s half the price, add the ‘expedite’ fee which is another $60 (per kid) though they can’t even tell you for sure how fast it will get here.
5. We get to the post office to turn in our application and you can’t expedite a passport card, only a passport book. So even though it gives you the option online to expedite the card and even tells you your fees, it’s not allowed. WTF. Really?
6. Now we’re paying double what we anticipated and all because it all happened so fast that even if we would’ve applied the same day they announced the changes, they wouldn’t have guaranteed it’s arrival in time. Ok, I know I’m cheap, but I hate to pay almost double for something that will only last half the time an adult’s passport will. Kids under 16 years of age only  have a 5 year life span on their passports.
7. I have made 4 trips to get passports for my kids & nephew. Don’t ask why 4 separate trips were needed or your computer will self destruct at the obscene obstacles. (Ok, to be fair, one of the extra trips was my own fault for not reading the fine print & having a birth certificate for one of my kids. Duh.)

Don’t Ask Any Questions

So of course you know me, I have to open my big mouth and ask the nice, overworked post office lady who could care less if our family makes it to our reunion, “So what happened to all those families who had their summer vacations planned across the border who didn’t have the time or resources to get their passport cards processed? Especially if it’s really taking a true 6-8 weeks to process?”

Now I get a disdainful, “Well, it’s been on the news for yeeeears. Haven’t you watched the news at all? So everyone should’ve been prepared for this…blah blah blah.”

Oh my God. Bullshit. Not the post office lady’s fault, but again, poor planning again by our government. I’ve stopped expending my energy trying to figure them out.

And then, when on my 2 trip to the post office to help my nephew, Darren, get his passport, the lady said that we had to have a notarized copy of this form when it clearly states and option for when:

You are the applying parent or guardian, and the written consent of the non-applying parent or guardian cannot be obtained.

So when I translate this into Lee-ese, I take this to mean that my sister could fill that portion out without a hitch. Well, we even went an extra step to have my Darren’s dad write up a letter and fax it to us, but this new post office lady said we needed to have  a notarized copy of the form.

Um. I have read that statement over and over again. Can anyone explain why I would think it was OK to just have his mom there and note from his dad. Where did I misinterpret “and the written consent of the non-applying parent or guardian cannot be obtained.”

You know the funny thing after writing all of this is that it’s sooo jumbled and that’s how I feel my life has been the past few days with my multiple trips and attempts to compete all of this in time. And it also feels like a crazy rant…so should I just delete this thing so you don’t lose 3 minutes of your life on this ridiculous subject? Apparently not.

PS – You can thank me later for not getting into the wait time at the post offices. Absurd.

Can you be a career woman and a super mom? When I hack away at my computer, I have this un-human urge to keep moving forward. Don’t stop. Don’t let anything stand in the way of progress. Learn, learn, learn. Earn, earn, earn.

The career monster I turn into while I’m in what my husband calls ‘the zone’ dares anyone to interrupt my flow and concentration. I get irritable and unfocused in conversation, so don’t even waste your time trying to talk to me-not if you want to keep that head on attached to your neck. Not even about dinner or baths or homework. Um – especially about dinner, baths and homework.

Am I a bad mother?

During times like this I have, in the past 5 years, questioned my commitment as a mother. This usually happens when I’m run down and exhausted and missing my family. But really, who the hell snaps at their husband when he’s asking about feeding the kids?

But what happens is that I often forget that I actually live by what I coach others to do: be what you’re being while you’re being it. So I have to pull my head out of my ass and stop the pity party. I finish what I’m doing and remember to reconnect with my children even if it’s not on my schedule. Then something miraculous happens. I am super-mom.

Though I am completely fulfilled when I am in the zone, I contribute most to this world when I am my children’s mommy. So today, I took a mid-day break and cooked for my children. (This is actually dinner time since I work till the sun comes up!)

I’m going to let you in on a secret even my mother doesn’t know: I cook. I mean, I really cook. I’m no gourmet chef, but I guarantee you will have 2nds and 3rds if you sit down for one of my meals. Mommy dearest however, still tells everyone who will listen that I can’t cook a thing but when she goes to my sister’s house she doesn’t have to lift a finger. She must think that my family eats Ramen noodles between her monthly visits.  If only she knew, she might stop cooking for us when she comes over…so if you tell her, I will hunt your ass down and beat you to a pulp.

One of my favorite things to do in life is to feed people. I get that from mom along with a number of other neurotic behaviors we’ll discuss some other time.  Whether I’m taking you out for a meal or cooking from scratch, it totally strokes my ego to see you take a bite of something you’ve never had and watch your eyes slowly close and hear you moan from sheer pleasure.

Though my boys don’t have such grown up reactions, I derive great pleasure from watching them eat food that I prepare. Foods that I have slaved over and know each and every ingredient is approved by me. Foods that have my 3 yr old asking for “more broccoli please” & have him singing, “There’s a party in my tummy. So yummy, so yummy!” over and over again. Foods that they devour and are smeared all over their fingers and faces. These are the times when I know I am a kick ass super-mommy.

So I am going to start sharing more regularly my recipes that are staples in my home. Comfort foods that you will not find in the cookbooks at Barnes & Nobles because they are recipes from my own mother that I’ve simplified for my complicated world.

Most of my recipes are Chinese meals but there are very American & Mexican meals that we have perfected in this house because my husband wishes he married a Mexican woman. Big J-oda could eat Mexican food every day of the week, but Asian food for every meal just won’t work. I on the other hand, grew up with Asian food for every meal and didn’t order my first pizza until I was a freshman in high school (a very traumatic experience), so I would welcome Pho for breakfast, black pepper chicken and rice for lunch and Sushi for dinner. Seriously.

Today has been one of those days where I was getting restless on the computer anyways because of the downpour. Days like today are made for an ice cold glass of Moscato Di Asti and a deliciously raunchy book with the windows open. It’s been raining so hard that the creek in our backyard which is normally dry or only a few inches deep was overflowing! This has only happened once since we’ve moved in & it’s an awesome sight.

Nicholas also pointed out this gigantic white bird that was almost as tall as he is. You can see him in the far left of the video! If our food wasn’t already sizzling and half cooked, I would’ve taken them both out to run around in the rain. It was so glorious and I always feel so much closer to whatever divine creator is out there looking out for us when the earth opens up like that.

In my culture, rain is very symbolic. I threw a surprise 40th birthday party for Big J-oda a couple of years ago (the only other time I’ve seen our creek flood). I was really freaked out because not only was it cold, but it was raining so hard I was afraid our family and friends wouldn’t make it. I was wrong and our house was so full it was standing room only, but this was when I learned that rain is good luck in Chinese culture. It means that the heavens are opening up and pouring down blessings upon you. I’ve always loved rain, but now when I hear the rain and can smell it’s freshness, I feel more…connected.

The Recipe

Ok, let’s get to the food part. First thing you need to know about cooking with me is that there are a few ingredients that are staples in our kitchen. Oyster sauce and fish sauce are what I use to season almost every type of stir fry. Soy sauce, Sriracha chili sauce and lime are what I use as a dipping sauce for many of our dishes (thanks to dad, without this dipping sauce, many dishes are pretty good, but not super fantastic!). I’ll roll out the different dipping sauces for each meal because I’m the kinda girl that has to have A-1 Steaksauce with every steak – no matter if it’s a $12 steak or a $75 steak.

What’s weird is that fish sauce & oyster sauce is used in tons of dishes, but they all taste different.

Tonight, I made chicken & broccoli, fried tilapia and rice.

Easy Chicken & Broccoli Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 pieces of chicken breast cut into bite size pieces
• 1 large crown of broccoli cut into bite size pieces (I use 2 crowns because I eat more broccoli than chicken. NOTE: I also cut up the stalk because it’s crunchy and sweet – my favorite part of broccoli)
• 3 cloves of garlic chopped
• olive oil (about 1-2 tbsp or what you prefer to use)
• oyster sauce (about 4 tbsp, but season to taste)
• fish sauce (about 2 tsp, but season to taste)
• 1/2 cup water

Directions

• Turn your burner up HIGH
• Pour some olive oil in a frying pan
• When hot, add the chopped garlic
• When the garlic is lightly browned, add the chicken and 1/2 of the oyster sauce. NOTE: I don’t measure out the oyster sauce usually, I just eyeball about 2 tbsps
• Add 1/2 of the fish sauce (again, I don’t usually measure, just a few shakes of the bottle)
• Stir and cover on medium high for about 3 minutes
• Add the broccoli and the rest of the oyster sauce,  fish sauce, and 1/2 cup of water
• Stir and cover for 5-6 minutes
• If your chicken isn’t fully cooked, uncover and continue to simmer until your chicken is fully cooked
• Serve hot!

Fried Fish: Tilapia

Ingredients

• 6 pieces of fish (or as you need to feed your family. I usually one for 6 for the 4 of us): Tilapia, catfish or whatever white fish you prefer
• 3 cloves of garlic chopped
• cajun seasoning (we use Tony Cachere)
• black pepper
• onion powder
• olive oil

Directions

• Heat up your frying pan on high heat
• Add the olive oil and wait until hot
• Add garlic
• I lay out my fish on a plate so I can season one side of the fish. When the pan is hot, I place the fish seasoned side down. NOTE: season to taste. I usually have my fish covered with seasoning
• Season the other side and wait for the first side to cook – about 3-4 minutes.
• Turn over and cook the other side for about 3-4 minutes.
• Serve hot

Rice

Ok guys, I hate to break this to you, but the rice you get at the American grocery stores are not anywhere nearly as flavorful as the Jasmine rice you get from the Asian markets. You get 25lbs in a bag which lasts us a few months, but we eat a lot of rice. It may last you even 6 months to a year if you only eat it once a week.

Here’s the 2nd part, for yummy, evenly cooked rice, you need a kick ass rice cooker. Here’s the one we have. We would be lost without it. If you don’t get this model, whatever you do, don’t waste your money on a model that’s under $50. I haven’t found one yet that was any good under $50. If you don’t want to invest in one yet, just email me & I’ll give you instructions on how to cook rice without a rice cooker. It would just take this already long post over the edge.

Spicy Sauce

For tonights dinner, we used dad’s famous spicy soy sauce mix:

• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tsp Sriracha chili sauce
• 1/2 lime (squeezed)
• Mix in sauce bowl

This is so popular in our house that we now each have our own sauce bowls rather than sharing family style as I did growing up.

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All of this took me 20 minutes. Seriously. But this is because I’ve made these dishes a thousand times and have got my timing down from experience. I also cook both dishes simultaneously (chicken & broccoli first) and then the fish and I always use the highest heat appropriate for the dishes so I don’t delay our dinner. Oh, and don’t forget to start your rice before you do anything else because that takes 20 minutes to fully cook.

I hope you enjoy this dinner as much as we do. We have a variation of this meal once a week. Often, I’ll substitute the broccoli for another veggie like celery and onions or chinese broccoli or even ginger root. I’ll give updates and pictures of those dishes as I make them next.

The Truth

You can be both a hard ass career woman and kick ass super mom. I just can’t wear both hats at the same time. I’m better at both these things when I choose to be only one at a time. In the same day, I have covered both bases and we are all the more happy and fulfilled because I did’t try to ‘muti-task’ today.

This subject about being a career woman vs. a super mom is far from over. We’ll talk soon about your need to operate on 3 hours of sleep and self sacrifice. It’s absurd & unnecessary except in extreme circumstances. If you want to be a good mom, take care of your children’s mother.

This trip was a graduation gift for one of his sons, so he & wife #1 flew 18 hours to visit their crazy Americanized family in the states. On the very first day of their visit to us in Dallas, one of my favorite aunts, who we’ll call #4 (No, she’s not the 4th wife, she’s just the 4th oldest sister on my momma’s side. Dude, you gotta keep up with ancient Chinese tradition here. We can’t call our elders by their name, we use their rank=) made sure to slyly tell me about MOTW’s wifey #2.

After I picked my jaw up and un-widened my squinty, chinky eyes, I just realized that I had never been in the presence of a polygamist before! They all co-exist in one very large house…oh, did I mention they’re millionaires? They own some sort of manufacturing plant, so they bleed money.  I would tell you more about their business, but my moderate grasp of the Chinese language and the slight slur and major accent they had was a bit of a conversation killer. They made their first chunk of change in the shrimping business, but got into this new business over a decade ago and never looked back.

So, after that tidbit of juicy news, I found myself slyly staring at MOTW, #1 and their kid because I was thinking that I would see something that would give me a glimpse of the dirty, nasty, sexual deviants that they are! I looked and looked and talked to them like they were from our planet, giving no notion that I thought they may have been implants from a galaxy far away.

All that effort, and dammit, they disappointed me to no end. They were kind, sensitive, generous, funny, smart and amazing shoppers! Hell, they didn’t even strip down and have wild polygamist sex on my kitchen table. Again, so disappointing.

A great Twitter friend asked what I thought about polygamy.

Had you asked me 10 or even 5 years ago, I would have screamed, “Bitch step back from my man before I claw your eyes out!”

Today, the thought of having a home cooked meal waiting for me after working 15 hours, or someone helping me with the dishes and laundry, or helping with the endless list of errands: well frankly it makes we want to weep with hope. Or what if she would just go earn the big bucks or have a another baby for me to coddle while I get to skip the 9 months of HELL?

There’s been so much attention about polygamy with Oprah’s 4 part series on the Yearning for Zion compound. Though Oprah’s expansive influence and story telling skills gave us a more intimate view on polygamy, my family’s visit solidified the fact that it’s not about days and nights of torrid sex and menage-a-trois, but an effort to create a small village who love each other and a family that is strong and stable, and filthy-stinkin-rich.

It is no secret that the Asian culture promotes polygamy. You can see it in the Chinese films and even the English movie “The King & I.” The King of Siam and his 40 concubines were very relative in that story line.

So now for the sex. Would I have issues with my husband having sex with another “wife?” Much to my husband’s chagrin, the hypothetical answer is: I wouldn’t mind if she’s cooking, cleaning or earning us a pocketful of change while popping out babies for me to snuggle up with. And of course, I would have to choose her because she’s got to like watching American Idol, Grey’s Anatomy and Dancing with the Stars. Darling, that’s what you get when you won’t watch these shows with me yourself.

And truth be told, there are some nights where I am so damn exhausted that I fall asleep sitting on my couch with my laptop whirring away. Not only is that not sexy, but it would be a welcome interception if some lady took the pressure off and took care of my darling-husband-super-dad-big-boss-man with the sex drive of a teenager.

Now, it’s easy to say that I’m ok with my husband having relations with a fictitious 2nd super-wife since I am not presented with this situation. And for my Big J-oda’s sake, I better say this too: we will not be looking for a 2nd wife. I promise baby…

But a 2nd husband…

What do you think? Email me and/or take this poll:

There have been a few major projects in the works that you should anticipate very shortly:

1. I have my amazing new Template Store currently up and running for those of you who have been asking me for a solution, but what’s even more exciting is that by the end of this month you will also have:

• FREE Templates – Simple and easy to use.
• Create Your Own Templates – this is sooo easy!
• Cost Conscious Templates – Sexy templates on a shoe string budget!

2. My Appointment Calendar will allow you to schedule consultation times online. I’m still working to get that confirmed in real time, but one thing you all know I’m not the best at is coding and this  site in particular revolves around doing all the coding myself.

3. HUNDREDS of FREE legal forms will be released shortly for use in your businesses. They are all the human resources forms I used almost daily in my brick & mortar businesses. I’m now making them available to you. Look for these my mid-May.

4. Insight into the Top 10 Coaches that also Twitter.

5. Discussions about Polygamy (have some family here from Thailand and the hubby has 2 wives) so this has been an interesting couple of days. I myself wouldn’t mind some help around the house! Oh wait, they actually hired servants for that.

6. Discussions about Pot: Do you think we should legalize it? Are you pro 420? Or against? And why?

Oh, & don’t forget to cast your vote in the poll on the sidebar!

7. Ok, if we’re going to talk about Polygamy & Pot, we also need the 3rd “P”: Prostitution. Should we legalize it or not? Why?

8. Oh-I should really do this, so I’ll give you my info on the Top 3 Affiliate programs that have been a smashing hit this year for me.

Ok folks, we have lots to cover so let’s get to it…

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Thank God for friends with talent.