Truth Parlor

Archive for the ‘Religion/Spirituality’ Category

I Worship Pagan Gods

Not!

A while back, I wrote an article about LOUD Christians. Religion is not something I often discuss with my friends and family, but tonight was an exception. I had a long time friend from high school over & while it’s not unusual for us to spend 8+ hours together cooking, shopping and watching Oprah, it’s also commonplace for us to talk about everything from politics, sex, relationships, POLYGAMY, work, and religion. We covered our the spectrum again tonight and it sparked this post. For the sake of protecting the innocent, we’ll call my friend Deb.

So here’s what Deb unearthed about me after 16 years of friendship: My parents are Buddhists, my husband’s an atheist, and I LOVE Jesus.

“Well how the hell does that work?” she asked. Though her suggestion of writing a book on this topic ain’t happening anytime soon (at least for as long as I have to pencil in time to bathe), I agreed that you guys probably have some opinions of your own & I want to hear it!

Buddhism

My parents are practicing Buddhists. They are consistent in their beliefs and part take in all of the customs that are associated with being Buddhists. They go to temple and we have a feast on Chinese New Years.

Here’s a very insightful look at Buddhism. And no, for those of you who think that reading about Buddhism will send you to hell, let me reassure you that it won’t, but your ignorance may…g

“Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity” A widely cited, but apparently spurious quotation attributed to Albert Einstein*

The Drepung Loseling Institute states:

“Like all major religions, Buddhism contains an explanation of the origin of existence, a morality, and a specific set of rituals and behaviors. … Buddhism presents a transformational goal, a desire to improve one’s situation, and a distinct moral code. _**

Kerry Trembath writes that Buddhism is not what we call a “top-down religion” — one in which a deity reveals religious and spiritual truths to humanity. It is a “bottom-up religion” created by humans as an attempt to express spiritual concepts:

“Buddhism does not deny the existence of gods or of other worlds, and indeed the devotional practices of many Buddhist traditions involve the veneration and invocation of special beings such as Avalokitesvara (known as Kw

an Yin to many Chinese, or Kannon to the Japanese). However, at its core Buddhism is a non-theistic religion and, unlike other world religions, Buddhism is not a doctrine of revelation. The Buddha did not claim to be the bearer of a message from on high. He made it clear that what he taught he had discovered for himself through his own efforts.”

“The Buddha himself is revered not as a deity or supernatural being but as a very special kind of human being. He was a human who achieved the ultimate in development of his human potential. The Buddha taught that this achievement is within the reach of every human being, and he spent his life teaching a practical methodology which, if followed with purity of mind and great diligence, would enable others to reach the same objective. In other words, he taught a method rather than a doctrine. When questioned about the validity of his teachings, the Buddha did not refer to the higher authority of a deity. He explained that his teachings were based on his own direct personal experience, and he invited all who were interested to test for themselves whether the method he taught was effective.”

It’s very easy for me to understand the attraction of gravitating to and anchoring yourself to such a belief system. There is peace in every aspect of Buddhism. If your conversations about your religion don’t give you a sense of peace but rather a defensive stance towards your ‘opponent’ & their beliefs, then are you really living the way of your own doctrines? And if your answer is yes, then your religion or your interpretation of your religion is not the route I would like to take with my life.

Here’s a very basic introduction to Buddhism written by students of Buddhist Psychology.

So let’s get this straight. My parents practice Buddhism, they do not worship Buddha. They don’t talk to Buddha like so many of us talk to Jesus. They practice a way of life and belief system.

Are they good Buddhists? Well, that just makes me think of the definition of a good Christian. We can all improve our ways but we live according to what we believe in most, what’s most important to us, what resonates with us and let’s be truthful here: what’s easiest and most self serving at the moment.

Onto my Atheist Husband

Wikepedia will tell you:

Atheism is the position that deities do not exist,^[1] or the rejection of theism.^[2] In the broadest sense, it is the absence of belief in the existence of deities.^[3]

So really, he’s saying that he doesn’t believe in God(s), Jesus and the Holy Spirit. End of story.

I’ve often asked him how he could believe that there isn’t something greater than we are. I mean, it would be so sad for the universe if we humans were the only intelligent life. Reeeeaaally sad.

He believes in evolution or the big bang and more importantly, I believe that he doesn’t even care to dwell on this topic any longer because he’s already spent his time searching out the meaning of life. Many heated debates have ended up with one of us (okay me) stomping off in frustration because…

I LOVE Jesus…

Now I may not love Jesus in the same way that so many Jesus lovers do. I do not think that you have to talk to him via a Priest. I don’t believe any number of Hail Mary’s will suffice for repentance and absolve you of your sins. I don’t believe you have to believe in him and accept him as your ’saviour’ to avoid the fiery pits of hell. I don’t love him so much that I use him as a shield to hide behind when my actions are just plain stupid.

I just love Jesus.

This means that I believe he lived and died for us. This means that doing the right thing is often very difficult, but suck it up and don’t be such a pansy. This means that I don’t pass so many judgements (as I did before – I’m not 100% perfect on this one folks because I’m sooo opinionated, but my judgemental ticker has climbed down dramatically.) This means that I believe that humans were created, not that we were some accident that came out of a cosmic explosion.

This also means that I don’t really know how the hell we were created and by whom. But here’s what I do know: just because we don’t believe in something, doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Like if you don’t believe in Ghosts, Astral Projections, Lucid Dreaming, telekinesis, telepathy, etc., that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or aren’t real. They’re just not real to you.

So again, I reserve the right to let you be and grant you choice of life, religion, politics and love. But I expect the same. If you can’t give me that in return, then it’s time we get out of each other’s spaces.

So how do I live with an Atheist?

The better question may be: how does he live with me? You see, part of this life journey of mine is learning better how to accept and grant others beingness. Ironically enough, I learned this concept from the Church of Scientology. But no matter if I picked this up from the COS or a Buddhist temple or Catholic church first, it resonates with me and I get it.

We often are so wrapped up in other’s beliefs & how much different they are from our own that we forget that we’re not the “belief police.” If my life was centered around a religion, then quite certainly, Big J-oda & I would never have made it past the alter. But because my beliefs are a part of my beingness and the philosophies of acceptance, life, love, relationships and purpose are ever evolving for me, it’s hard for me to make judgements of whether or not someone should believe in a God who no one has ever laid eyes on.

Faith is what gives me hope & direction, so I choose to believe in God. But I also believe in the life philosophies of Buddha.

Love and family is what gives Big J-oda hope, so that’s what he chooses to put his faith in. He could certainly have put his faith in worst things like cocaine, diseased prostitutes, and the devil himself. So what do I really have to complain about?

When it comes to our children, we’ll present them with all of the theories and allow them the right to decide for themselves. Then we can have even more heated debates at the kitchen table. I can’t wait!

The Truth

I would rather build a life with an honest, kind, strong human being who is an atheist than a man who hides behind the cross and uses it as a deflector. Here are a few examples:

• Ted Haggarty
• Bishop Terry Hornbuckle
• Rev. William Procanick
• Harry Benson

Need more?

• Ray A. Hemphill
• Timothy Edmonds
• Maurice Praill
• Earl Holland

Again, I say, the louder you scream you’re a Christian, the less of a good Christian you are.

Namaste

PS…Buddha wasn’t fat. Not even close.

*This quotation is often cited as appearing in Helen Dukas & Banesh Hoffman, Eds., “Albert Einstein: The Human Side,” Princeton University Press, (1954). It looks like something he could have written or said. It resembles the type of language found in other religious and spiritual material that Einstein wrote. But there appears to be no evidence that it is actually his. A search on Google for a phrase from this quotation found that it is found at about 316 locations on the Internet. However, as explained in http://en.wikiquote.org/, item 14, he probably never wrote it. Still, someone wrote it. Also it contains many interesting insights. So, we included it.

**”Is Buddhism a religion?” Drepung Loseling Institute, at: http://www.drepung.org/

So one of the very first things I found out about my visiting cousins from Thailand is that the husband who we’ll call Man-of-Two-Wives (MOTW) because he has no English name, is that hey!…How did you figure it out? Yep. He’s got 2 wives. And studly MOTW has 5 kids.

This trip was a graduation gift for one of his sons, so he & wife #1 flew 18 hours to visit their crazy Americanized family in the states. On the very first day of their visit to us in Dallas, one of my favorite aunts, who we’ll call #4 (No, she’s not the 4th wife, she’s just the 4th oldest sister on my momma’s side. Dude, you gotta keep up with ancient Chinese tradition here. We can’t call our elders by their name, we use their rank=) made sure to slyly tell me about MOTW’s wifey #2.

After I picked my jaw up and un-widened my squinty, chinky eyes, I just realized that I had never been in the presence of a polygamist before! They all co-exist in one very large house…oh, did I mention they’re millionaires? They own some sort of manufacturing plant, so they bleed money.  I would tell you more about their business, but my moderate grasp of the Chinese language and the slight slur and major accent they had was a bit of a conversation killer. They made their first chunk of change in the shrimping business, but got into this new business over a decade ago and never looked back.

So, after that tidbit of juicy news, I found myself slyly staring at MOTW, #1 and their kid because I was thinking that I would see something that would give me a glimpse of the dirty, nasty, sexual deviants that they are! I looked and looked and talked to them like they were from our planet, giving no notion that I thought they may have been implants from a galaxy far away.

All that effort, and dammit, they disappointed me to no end. They were kind, sensitive, generous, funny, smart and amazing shoppers! Hell, they didn’t even strip down and have wild polygamist sex on my kitchen table. Again, so disappointing.

A great Twitter friend asked what I thought about polygamy.

Had you asked me 10 or even 5 years ago, I would have screamed, “Bitch step back from my man before I claw your eyes out!”

Today, the thought of having a home cooked meal waiting for me after working 15 hours, or someone helping me with the dishes and laundry, or helping with the endless list of errands: well frankly it makes we want to weep with hope. Or what if she would just go earn the big bucks or have a another baby for me to coddle while I get to skip the 9 months of HELL?

There’s been so much attention about polygamy with Oprah’s 4 part series on the Yearning for Zion compound. Though Oprah’s expansive influence and story telling skills gave us a more intimate view on polygamy, my family’s visit solidified the fact that it’s not about days and nights of torrid sex and menage-a-trois, but an effort to create a small village who love each other and a family that is strong and stable, and filthy-stinkin-rich.

It is no secret that the Asian culture promotes polygamy. You can see it in the Chinese films and even the English movie “The King & I.” The King of Siam and his 40 concubines were very relative in that story line.

So now for the sex. Would I have issues with my husband having sex with another “wife?” Much to my husband’s chagrin, the hypothetical answer is: I wouldn’t mind if she’s cooking, cleaning or earning us a pocketful of change while popping out babies for me to snuggle up with. And of course, I would have to choose her because she’s got to like watching American Idol, Grey’s Anatomy and Dancing with the Stars. Darling, that’s what you get when you won’t watch these shows with me yourself.

And truth be told, there are some nights where I am so damn exhausted that I fall asleep sitting on my couch with my laptop whirring away. Not only is that not sexy, but it would be a welcome interception if some lady took the pressure off and took care of my darling-husband-super-dad-big-boss-man with the sex drive of a teenager.

Now, it’s easy to say that I’m ok with my husband having relations with a fictitious 2nd super-wife since I am not presented with this situation. And for my Big J-oda’s sake, I better say this too: we will not be looking for a 2nd wife. I promise baby…

But a 2nd husband…

What do you think? Email me and/or take this poll:

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