Polygamy: Is it sinful?
So one of the very first things I found out about my visiting cousins from Thailand is that the husband who we’ll call Man-of-Two-Wives (MOTW) because he has no English name, is that hey!…How did you figure it out? Yep. He’s got 2 wives. And studly MOTW has 5 kids.
This trip was a graduation gift for one of his sons, so he & wife #1 flew 18 hours to visit their crazy Americanized family in the states. On the very first day of their visit to us in Dallas, one of my favorite aunts, who we’ll call #4 (No, she’s not the 4th wife, she’s just the 4th oldest sister on my momma’s side. Dude, you gotta keep up with ancient Chinese tradition here. We can’t call our elders by their name, we use their rank=) made sure to slyly tell me about MOTW’s wifey #2.
After I picked my jaw up and un-widened my squinty, chinky eyes, I just realized that I had never been in the presence of a polygamist before! They all co-exist in one very large house…oh, did I mention they’re millionaires? They own some sort of manufacturing plant, so they bleed money. I would tell you more about their business, but my moderate grasp of the Chinese language and the slight slur and major accent they had was a bit of a conversation killer. They made their first chunk of change in the shrimping business, but got into this new business over a decade ago and never looked back.
So, after that tidbit of juicy news, I found myself slyly staring at MOTW, #1 and their kid because I was thinking that I would see something that would give me a glimpse of the dirty, nasty, sexual deviants that they are! I looked and looked and talked to them like they were from our planet, giving no notion that I thought they may have been implants from a galaxy far away.
All that effort, and dammit, they disappointed me to no end. They were kind, sensitive, generous, funny, smart and amazing shoppers! Hell, they didn’t even strip down and have wild polygamist sex on my kitchen table. Again, so disappointing.
A great Twitter friend asked what I thought about polygamy.
Had you asked me 10 or even 5 years ago, I would have screamed, “Bitch step back from my man before I claw your eyes out!”
Today, the thought of having a home cooked meal waiting for me after working 15 hours, or someone helping me with the dishes and laundry, or helping with the endless list of errands: well frankly it makes we want to weep with hope. Or what if she would just go earn the big bucks or have a another baby for me to coddle while I get to skip the 9 months of HELL?
There’s been so much attention about polygamy with Oprah’s 4 part series on the Yearning for Zion compound. Though Oprah’s expansive influence and story telling skills gave us a more intimate view on polygamy, my family’s visit solidified the fact that it’s not about days and nights of torrid sex and menage-a-trois, but an effort to create a small village who love each other and a family that is strong and stable, and filthy-stinkin-rich.
It is no secret that the Asian culture promotes polygamy. You can see it in the Chinese films and even the English movie “The King & I.” The King of Siam and his 40 concubines were very relative in that story line.
So now for the sex. Would I have issues with my husband having sex with another “wife?” Much to my husband’s chagrin, the hypothetical answer is: I wouldn’t mind if she’s cooking, cleaning or earning us a pocketful of change while popping out babies for me to snuggle up with. And of course, I would have to choose her because she’s got to like watching American Idol, Grey’s Anatomy and Dancing with the Stars. Darling, that’s what you get when you won’t watch these shows with me yourself.
And truth be told, there are some nights where I am so damn exhausted that I fall asleep sitting on my couch with my laptop whirring away. Not only is that not sexy, but it would be a welcome interception if some lady took the pressure off and took care of my darling-husband-super-dad-big-boss-man with the sex drive of a teenager.
Now, it’s easy to say that I’m ok with my husband having relations with a fictitious 2nd super-wife since I am not presented with this situation. And for my Big J-oda’s sake, I better say this too: we will not be looking for a 2nd wife. I promise baby…
But a 2nd husband…
What do you think? Email me and/or take this poll:
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[...] Truth Parlor added an interesting post today on Polygamy: Is it sinful?Here’s a small readingSo one of the very first things I found out about my visiting cousins from Thailand is that the husband who we’ll call Man-of-Two-Wives (MOTW) because he has no English name, is that hey!…How did you figure it out? Yep. He’s got 2 wives. And studly MOTW has 5 kids. This trip was a graduation gift for one of his sons, so he & wife #1 flew 18 hours to visit their crazy Americanized family in the states. On the very first day of their visit to us in Dallas, one of my favorite aunts, who we’ll [...]
[...] Truth Parlor created an interesting post today on Polygamy: Is it sinful?Here’s a short outlineSo one of the very first things I found out about my visiting cousins from Thailand is that the husband who we’ll call Man-of-Two-Wives (MOTW) because he has no English name, is that hey!…How did you figure it out? Yep. He’s got 2 wives. And studly MOTW has 5 kids. This trip was a graduation gift for one of his sons, so he & wife #1 flew 18 hours to visit their crazy Americanized family in the states. On the very first day of their visit to us in Dallas, one of my favorite aunts, who we’ll [...]
After 16 yrs of marriage and 5 kids, he can have whosoever he desires, just as long as she over the age of 40 and she knows that she’s subject to me. Which basically means that she would be the maid, cook, child chauffer, baby-sitter and an occasional sex partner. I wouldn’t pass him off for sex too often because I use it as my energy pill. And if he’s too tired because he’s been getting w/her then she would have to go!
We couldn’t have even spoken about this subject in years past without mortifying everyone. Today, we hear about it everywhere and the very liberal answers are hilarious & surprising. Do you think we women have always thought these things and never said anything before to avoid being shunned or labeled a freak? Or are we just now so exhausted that we’re willing to put away our jealousies for domestic assistance? Either way, making polygamy illegal is the same in my book as keeping prostitution and pot illegal…but more about those later;-)
from reading this lol – it seems like you got some kind of fetish or some type of hope that you get to see the crazy group thing young lady =P
but asians are known to be kind of freaky (that’s just what i’ve heard not that im one)
but i wouldn’t mind a 2nd lady in my life as well with everything you’ve named i would love to chill at some things and not worry about others – but that right there is up to the boss(my wife) – as far as the sexual side of things go –its every man’s dream to be with 2 or more women with that so im pretty sure that’s there no denying that part of the riddle –
polygamy isnt observed here because 1 its illegal and 2 society dont really accept it here – but this topic is basically in the hands of the readers and their perspective.
so they dont sleep together at once or nothing?? that sucks you need to get more details =P
Pheak, you are a phreak…I love it! I was really just trying to see what kinda freaky stuff my innocent mind was missing…LOL. But seriously? All this “illegal” stuff is quite silly. I live in the “Bible Belt” and quite frankly, I think the more people scream that they’re Christians, I’ve learned the more they have issues they’re hiding. As far as polygamy, I would imagine most guys would side with you, if not out loud, in their brains (both of them).
But like you said, there are a couple of other cool aspects too that certainly make it appealing. Society is changing. Slowly. But I wonder if it will ever drop it’s mask of propriety for one of acceptance of people. I mean, as long as they’re not hurting any one else, who are we to judge them?
i dont think it matters to the people who back up on society’s view as acceptance, denial or refusing the truth of reality. you’re right the world is slowly changing and with that – everything that was once frowned on is being more accepted – take for instance the girlfriends thing – back in the day if a female had a relationship with another female all hell would break out – now its more like oh check out lindsay lohan’s girl they are fighting, you know what i mean
im not a “phreak” per say im just a regular guy that dont really deny or lie about whats in my mind –im pretty straight forward with things – but yea, had to respond back to you…. bak to twitter.
Pheak, that’s why I really like you as a part of my community here. I like the way you just say what’s on your mind, and the purpose of this blog is to have people telling the truth rather than skirting around issues. Plus you’re just loads of fun=)
Well, after Ellen came out of the closet, every other female did too. They even did this Oprah segment on how women’s sexual tendencies are (more) fluid rather than an absolute gay or straight label.
But I am grateful that my kids are growing up in a society where we can talk about these things rather than having folks hide out in shame. I am grateful that they are growing up in a time where the president is black. I am grateful that it will progressively get better with the accessibility of information and communication.
My two husbands and I thank you for this article!
We are very much “out” in our community and in our families, and plan to start reproducing pretty soon. Our family is not about torrid sex (and no, we’ve never had a threesome, EVERYONE seems to want to know). It’s about getting along, helping each other, and feeling more complete as human beings.
Well you are absolutely welcome. And yes, everyone’s first question is about whether or not all the spouses sleep together. So thanks for sharing your situation and good luck on reproducing. The best things I’ve ever done can be seen in my kids.
Oh and kudos to you and your 2 husbands. I can’t get my husband to even consider a 2nd wife, much less another husband…hmmm, maybe if I showed him your story=)
I wouldn’t want us to ever legalize pot because i’ve seen the crippling effect and of that addiction. NO ONE that i know of has overcome pot and has ALWAYS moved on to other drugs. I wouldn’t want us to legalize prosititution bcus I don’t want to give women the false impression that they can get power by selling their most sacred Self-sex is spiritual.
But if we legalize poligamy will it go both ways? Will women have a choice to marry 2 husbands? Or will men be the ones with all the fun? Cuz, I would want to get me 2 husbands. My sexy, fix it man, who’s great w/the kids and brings in plenty of $ and my sexy, hot, romantic lover who does nothing but study how to please me and he also brings in plenty of $.
Can i get me 2 of those on the day the legislation is passed?
Not sure that this is true:), but thanks for a post.
Can I use this text in my blog if I put a link back to yours?
You bet.